A Guide to Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit

aka a guide to survive Bangkok

Welcoming my foreign friend in Bangkok for the first time, I got to see my hometown in another perspective, I mean, the tourist one, and kind of understood why people around the world want to visit this chaotic, heavily traffic-jammed, yet charming and fun city. But the language is the biggest obstacle to foreigners coming to Thailand, I’ve noticed. So, I’ve listed some useful words to all who are curious enough how to say basic things in Thai. Also, below are some tips and suggestions to make your trip in Bangkok less touristic and, hopefully, more pleasant.

Useful terms

!! Sentence-ending particles

• ครับ [krub] (particle used by men/boys/trans men)

• ค่ะ [ka] (particle used by women/girls/trans women)

• ฮะ [harr] (neutral particle)

  You have to know these particles first because they are essential in Thai language. Generally, they mark politeness to end sentences or response to someone older or strangers. We can also use these words instead of ‘yes’ when positively affirming something someone has asked. However, if we use them among friends, it could give a sense of sarcasm or just fun, depending on our tone.

• สวัสดี [sa-wad-dee] or หวัดดี [wad-dee] = hello, good morning, good evening, goodbye

  Verbally, the Thais are used to say just ‘wad-dee,’ cutting the first ‘sa’ syllable in informal or familiar situations.

• ลาก่อน [la-kon] = goodbye, adieu

• บ๊ายบาย [bye-bye] = bye

• แล้วเจอกัน [laew-jer-gun] = see you

• ขอบคุณ [kob-khun] = thank you

• ขอบใจ [kob-jai] = thanks

  Normally, we say ‘kob-jai’ to friends and anyone younger than us.

• ยินดี [yin-dee] = you’re welcome

• ขอโทษ[kor-thod] = sorry, excuse-me

• ช่วยด้วย [chuay-duay] = help me, please

• ยินดีที่ได้รู้จัก [yin-dee-tee-dai-roo-jak] = nice to meet you

• ใช่ [chai] = yes

• ไม่ [maii] = no

• ไม่เป็นไร [⁠maii-pen-rai] = it’s alright

• เป็นยังไงบ้าง [⁠pen-young-ngai-baang] or สบายดีมั้ย [sa-bai-dee-mai] = how are you?

• กินข้าวยัง [kin-khao-young] = have you eaten anything? (literal meaning = have you eaten rice?)

  Sometime, when the Thais greet people, they also ask this to show their caring. Since rice is central to any dishes, it can mean food in general.

• อร่อย [arr-roy] = delicious

• ไม่อร่อย [mai-arr-roy] = not delicious, inedible

• แซ่บอีหลี [zaab-e-lee] = delicious (in Northeastern dialect, we sometimes use the term if the food is really fucking great.)

• หมาไม่แ-ก [mha-mai-daak] = fucking terrible (for food - the phrase is quite vulgar.)

• อิ่มแล้ว [eim-laew] = I’m full

• เมาแล้ว [mao-laew] = I'm drunk; I'm high

• คิดตัง [kid-tang] = check, bill

• หล่อ [lorr] = handsome

• สวย [suay] = beautiful

• มาก [mak] = much/many

• น้อย [noi] = little/a few

  
  

• พ่อ [porr] = father/dad

• แม่ [mae] = mother/mom

• พี่ [pee] = big brother/sister

• น้อง [nong] = young brother/sister

• ปู่ [poo] = paternal grandpa

• ย่า [yaa] = paternal grandma

• ตา [taa] = maternal grandpa

• ยาย [yaii] = maternal grandma

• ลุง [lung] = (older) uncle

• ป้า [paa] = (older) aunt

• น้า [naa] = younger maternal uncle or aunt

• อา [arr] = younger paternal uncle of aunt

  In everyday life, we call older strangers 'pee' and the younger ones 'nong' supposing that they don't seem much older or younger than us. But if they do, call them 'lung,' 'paa,' 'naa' or 'arr' based on their genders and your guess of how old they are.

Useful swear words

• เชี่ย [shere] or เหี้ย [here] = fuck, shit, wow, gosh (depending on contexts)

• ห่า [⁠haa] = damn (it)

• ตายห่า [⁠tai-haa] = goddamnit

• ค-ย [kuay] = fuck (literal meaning = dick)

• เ-ดแม่ [⁠yed-mae] = motherfucker

Some tips

• Unless you want to get some cliché experience, don’t take a tuk-tuk ride. Tuk-tuk drivers will definitely charge foreigners more than the Thais. There is no meter on tuk-tuks either.

• But MuvMi might be a tuk-tuk alternative: it operates in some neighborhoods and can only be booked on its application.

• Use Grab (or LINE MAN if you have a LINE account) to get a taxi. It is more reliable and charge you reasonably accordingly to traffic and distance.

• Stay somewhere near any MRT (metro) or BTS (sky train) station to commute more easily. And remember: public transportation here is operated by various companies. So, you have to buy a new ticket when you change means of transport for example: from BTS to MRT Blue or Purple lines; BTS to buses. Buses are often unreliable. (This is very fucked up and confusing, even to the Bangkokians.)

• Ride a motorcycle taxi for once (also possible to get by Grab). THAT is a real Bangkokian way of life.

• If you have visited the Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew, don’t throw your ticket aways. Use it to watch Khon, the Thai mased dance at Sala Chalermkrung for free. Note that there are Khon shows only on Mondays to Fridays.

• To me, Wat Arun isn’t that worth to visit nowadays because the temple is full of people wearing Thai tradition clothes and (professionally) taking photos as if they were characters from Love Destiny, a Thai hit period drama years ago. But it is still a good idea to find a café on the Rattanakosin Island-side bank of the Chao Phraya River to watch sunset while having Wat Arun as the superb background.

• Some cool sites free of charge: Benjakitti & Lumpini Parks, BACC, Bangkok City Library, Bank of Thailand Learning Center, TCDC & around (In the Mood for Love was filmed in that neighborhood), Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen (where the giant Buddha is situated), Talad Noi, Bang Krajao (outside Bangkok), etc. And also check if there’re any art festivals or biennale during your stay.

• If you can’t stand the heat, find an air-conditioned shelter in some shopping mall. We have too many of them.

• Okay, Bangkok is known for its variety of food. But the best ones usually contain meat, especially pork. So, the city might not be a food paradise for vegetarians and vegans.

• Where to have great, cheap street food: i.e. Terminal 21 (all day) and Khao Lam Rd. (5-10 PM, near Talad Noi). Food in Chinatown and Bantadthong is not that good anymore :(

• Any Foodland’s 24/7 Took Lae Dee (‘Cheap and Good’) restaurant is ALWAYS reliable. Some of the best dishes: American fried rice (the history behind it is fun), kua kai, all-day breakfast, suki with any meat, soft tofu pudding in milk (dessert), fried bananas with vanilla ice-cream (fucking genius dessert), etc. So, consider this resto as your hangover eating place at 4 AM in Thong Lor.

• In an advanced level: fuck pad thai, tom yum, mango sticky rice, blah blah. If you want to eat like a local, go have some Thai BBQ, Chinese sukiyaki, durian with sticky rice and ‘wan yen (Thai-style shaved ice with toppings).’

• Basically, you can find cannabis in every corner of the city.

• If you're too lazy to do all of this by yourself, just find (or know) the guy.

Hope you enjoy your stay in this Great City of Angels. I'll keep updating the guide when I come up with something new.

Related content: Lessons from Bangkok on YouTube

Written by @porrorchor

Cover image created on BKK Sticker